Category — Family

What a privilege to live in a country that sets aside the last Thursday in November to give thanks to God. Before you get all, “Hey, this country is falling apart and most people don’t even know the God we’re supposed to give thanks to” on me, consider this:

• In spite of the decadence that appalls us, this is still a country that doesn’t persecute us for worshiping our Lord. No government authority is going to break down your door and arrest you for giving thanks to the God who sent His Son Jesus Christ.

• Regardless of what’s going on around us, in the privacy of our homes we can be just as thankful to God as our parents, grandparents, and forefathers were.

I’m determined to make the most of it, while I still have the freedom.

And as I grow in my awareness of what matters most in this short life, I’m becoming less and less focused on the material blessings God supplies and more and more aware of the relational blessings of redeemed life. 2008 has been one of our richest relational blessing years. We’ve reconnected with lifelong friends in Christ, deepened friendships with the leaders of Church of the Open Door, and met some new friends through this new experience of writing and publishing a book.

This Thanksgiving, when someone asks me what I’m most thankful for, my answer will be the most tangible expression of His grace on earth—friends and loved ones who walk with us on this path as disciples of Christ Jesus.

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you” (Philippians 1:3).

I fight an almost nightly battle that you might find a little too familiar. My mind defaults to the problems and pressures of life the moment I try to relax. Thoughts fly toward worst-case scenarios—what will we do if? Or how will we ever get past that?

When this happens, there’s always one verse that brings me back to the sweet center of trust. Sometimes it even brings a smile just before I doze off.

If you’re wondering, “What could it be that keeps you up at night fretting Ed?” here it is. Please know, I’m not telling you this to show you how difficult my life is. I’m telling you this so that you can know that my life is just like yours. We’re all under pressure and worrying about our families, our friends, and our country; it’s just that we’re worrying about different details and pressures.

These are things that keep me awake:

Our family is facing some things that are out of my control:

• All three of our adult children are dealing with situations or problems that could blow up in their face and bring extreme pain to their lives.

• My mom lives alone in another city and I really don’t know how we’re going to take care of her unless she uproots her life and moves to SoCal.

• There’s always my health! If this disease turns deadly again, I hate to think of Judy moving on in life alone.

Our finances are out of my control:

• We’re in our late fifties and it’s beginning to look like our only retirement plan is to keep working until we drop.

• Church of the Open Door needs more money than I can possibly raise, so we give a lot more than any financial planner would advise for two people our age who have such a lousy retirement plan while we beg God to move in others’ hearts to do as well.

• Over the past few months we’ve been to the doctors about a million times (well, maybe twenty) and we’ve had to call the tow truck to pick up both of our cars, twice!

Our schedule feels out of my control:

• I’m behind in about five writing projects and two church commitments that are due this month.

• When I open my calendar on my computer, I get depressed. Why did I say I would do all these things?

• There are always three or four people who are upset with me because I’m not giving them enough of my time.

Our world is out of control:

• Our country’s at war—a son in the Army and a son-in-law in the FBI—and America doesn’t seem to care. It’s as if 9/11 never happened.

• All the stuff that I’m voting for, the rest of the country is voting against.

• Weird people are popular and esteemed and godly people are unpopular and berated.

Does some of this keep you up at night? Want to know the verse that never fails to help?

“He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it!” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

Here’s what I know. Next year at this time there’s going to be a whole new set of problems and pressures, but somehow, if I trust Christ and do what He says, life will go on and hope will not fail. Maybe He’ll even use me some…probably more than I know or feel.

Maybe that’s because it really is out of our control, isn’t it?

How Would You Describe This?

If someone asked you to describe the financial choices and spending habits of a sold-out, revival-hearted Christian, what words would you use? Here are a few I’m sure you’re thinking of: sacrificial, unselfish, generous, purposeful, responsible, cheerful, trusting, obedient, and transcendent. Here are a few that are not coming to mind: self-indulgent, miserly, impetuous, reckless, grudging, independent, rebellious, and myopic.

In the early years of the church, the first list of words described the Christian community. They had very little and gave away most of the little they had. They were primarily members of the “left-out” community. If they were one of the privileged few who came to Christ, they were known for the amounts of money they gave away, not the portion that they kept.

Today the embarrassing words of the second list could explain the financial attitudes of too many of us. We drive luxury cars and spacious SUV’s, live in expansive homes in the suburbs, eat in the top restaurants, play on premium golf courses, shop in trendy stores, cruise the seas and fly with the beautiful people to faraway places while most of our churches struggle to meet bare-bones budgets and cross-cultural Christian workers live hand to mouth.

We’ve accumulated more wealth and prosperity than any generation in church history. And unless something changes, we will leave this earth in its sin-stained decadence and enter heaven empty-handed because we have invested most of our resources here rather than there. Do we really need to see Paris or swim with the dolphins one more time before we die?

Buying the Lie

We’re buying the lie that my money is my business. We’re listening too approvingly to teachers who make the hard sayings of Jesus about finances easy. We’re giving what we “can” or what we can control. And we wonder why the postmodern Christians aren’t listening to us?

Why is it that we’re so careful when we read the Bible’s instruction on marriage, family, morality, culture, creation, and church but so sloppy when we interpret Jesus’ lessons on money. We explain away His hard sayings with complicated interpretations and excuse our disobedience with absurd reasoning. But I think Jesus would have some tough questions for us if we were offering these explanations and excuses to Him.

“Do not store up; for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Really?

Then why did one of the most successful and spiritual men I have ever known repeat these words every time he tripped, dropped an item, or bumped into something when he was in his seventies—“My dad always told me I was a klutz”?

And why have Judy and I found it impossible to reprogram the thinking of some of the most attractive and accomplished women who explain the logic of their low self esteem with sentences like these—“My father said that my sister got all the beauty and brains in our family” or “My husband constantly tells me that he wishes I would be as in shape, as articulate, as fashionable, or as sexy as his friends’ wives”?

Yes They Will!

If your view of life is based on this world’s reasoning, you might agree with this little nugget of so-called truth people have been saying and believing through generations of hopelessness and hurt, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

But if your view of life is based on God’s wisdom, you vehemently disagree with its message.

Proverbs says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (18:21).

Jesus taught that evil words—self-serving lies, slander, boasting, flattery, murmurings, and contentions—come from an evil heart, but good words—other-centered expressions of love, care, encouragement, confronting, and healing—come from a good heart. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:43-45)

Truly wise people never underestimate the power of their words because they know that words can penetrate the soul and last a lifetime.

The thing about words is that you can’t take them back.

Words Wound for Life!

I’m sure that my friend’s godly father would have never called him a klutz if he would have known that his son would forever define himself as a klutz, no matter how great his accomplishments in life or how deep his walk with the Lord Jesus.

I’m not sure what the fathers of these little girls were thinking when they diminished their feminine soul, but I am sure that these demeaning husbands knew exactly what they were doing when they destroyed their wives self-esteem.

If you’re like me, you’re thinking of all the horrible things you’ve said to your spouse, your children, or a good friend and you’re wishing that there was some way you could take those words back.

You can’t. But you can repent and start sending new messages into their heart—messages that encourage rather than discourage, words that build up rather than tear down, words that encourage them to walk with God, even when life is tough.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21).

Clapping for Daddy?

If your church is like ours, you commemorate Father’s Day in some way. Someone shares about what our fathers mean to all of us, we ask the fathers in the congregation to stand, and then everyone applauds.

But as we applaud, I can’t help but notice the faces of friends whose stories I know. Their polite smiles and supportive clapping can’t hide the pain in their eyes. For them, Father’s Day isn’t an event to celebrate; it’s a day to survive.

The single mom whose Christian husband left her with two preschoolers nine years ago for another woman—she can’t forget the day he walked out, convinced that “The Lord wanted him to be happy.”

The young man who never knew his dad—the only explanation he ever received from his mother was, “Your dad didn’t want his career to suffer because of you.”

The now middle-aged mom who still struggles with the lifelong emotional pathologies from the nights her own father betrayed her innocence when she was a little girl—he would always buy her a present the next day.

Father’s Day Survival Kit

If you’re one of those who just tries to survive Father’s Day, may I offer a few suggestions, a “Survival Kit” for hurting hearts on Father’s Day?

Ask God’s Spirit to remind you of all the ways your Heavenly Father has loved and cared for you over the years. Actually write down ten specific ways.

Here are two of mine:

–In this world of conditional love, God has told me, “I just love you, just the way you are. I delight in you, Ed. You’re my special boy!”

–When my problems were beyond the help of everyone else who loved me, God brought me through my toughest days and darkest nights . . . as He looked into my heart and knew my deepest needs.

After you’re through with your list, ask the Spirit to remind you or guide you toward ten passages in the Bible having to do with your Heavenly Father’s love for you. Write these verses down. My list would begin like this:

–“For God so loved the world (Ed), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever (when Ed) believes in Him (Ed) should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

–“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, not things present nor things to come, nor heights nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-38).

Never-Failing Father

Then, take that list of twenty, get on your knees, and praise God for His Fatherhood!

Our earthly fathers’ shortcomings and sins leave a hole in our heart that will never mend this side of heaven. But until then, you and I can survive every Father’s Day by turning our pain over what happened to us here on earth into praise over what is happening to us on the way to heaven!

And, if you’re not a Christian yet, think about how different your life would be if you could have the most wonderful Father in the universe, starting right now. The New Testament talks a lot about the Fatherhood of God and His love and care for His children. John said, “But as many as received Him (Jesus Christ), to them He gave the right to become the children of God, to those who believe in His name” (John 1:12). You can come into a loving relationship with God the Father today by believing in His Son, Jesus Christ. And then, every Father’s Day of your future can become a celebration of the joy of being a cherished child in the family of God!

“But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief, to repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless” (Psalm 10:14).